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This period represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the concept that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without a word seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a mate has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes unsuccessful endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a generation who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive breakdown to the words this generation is using to talk about love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular memes, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, romance's gold standard is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is engaged or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to going for someone who helps you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A date where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do low-cost romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes couples who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal quirks suggesting a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their exes crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your choice to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same things or people that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly shut down any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {